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35 annoying phrases we don't want to hear at Christmas anymore. 1. "Oh, no, not fruitcake again!" 2. "Are these Christmas decorations or a circus?" 3. "I hate wrapping presents, it takes forever!" 4. "Is there anything gluten-free in this Christmas dinner?" 5. "Why did you get me socks as a gift?" 6. "Do we really have to watch another cheesy Christmas movie?" 7. "Ugh, I'm so tired of Christmas carols." 8. "Why can't we just have a normal dinner for once?" 9. "I can't believe I have to spend Chr

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undefined undefined 16 janvier 2024 undefined 11h39

The Editor

Elf © New Line / Courtesy Everett Collection

It's almost the holidays, and we can't really say that we are excited about the idea of seeing the uncles, aunts, and cousins again. Not that we don't love them, don't get us wrong, but it's more like we can already see coming at full speed all the most clichéd phrases that we could do without, with GREAT pleasure. Let us give you a little recap of the ones we fear the most.


The direct attacks

1. "Wow, you look really beautiful/handsome tonight." So you're implying that the rest of the time, I look like a bulldozer?

2. "You've aged a bit, haven't you?" Well, like everyone else, it's the natural evolution of things.

3. "Oh, your sweater is... interesting." Thanks for the disguised compliment that clearly means: I don't like it.

4. "Oh, I found a great new hairdresser, I can give you their number if you want." Is it possible to be less subtle?

5. "You should take more example from your cousin, he...". But good for him! Meanwhile, I don't think I asked for your opinion.

6. "So, when are you having kids?" Or any other similar phrase. Just because I play with my niece doesn't mean I'm planning to have any of my own.

7. "So, how's love going?" It's like family can sometimes be worse than Gossip Girl. There are hundreds of variations, which deserve their dedicated guide.

8. "And when's the wedding?" I don't know, grandpa, when's your funeral? We can be a bit harsh, yes, but it's irritating.

9. "If you're happy, that's what matters, but I couldn't do it if I were you." Thanks for this highly constructive and useful statement.

10. "So, is everything still going well at Abc" (insert company name)?" Well, I guess so, but I've been working at 123 for 3 years...


When we talk about politics

11. "Wow, France is beautiful." However this phrase is used and whatever meaning it takes, it is NEVER okay.

12. "Back in my day..." Yes, but we are not really interested in how things were in the year 2. Things evolve, so deal with it.

13. "If we can't even laugh anymore." Well, of course you can still laugh, but at least make the effort to be funny, uncle.

14. "We can't say anything today." Maybe, but let's not forget that sometimes, silence is golden.

15. "I'm just saying, I'm not saying anything." Well, actually, saying nothing is better.


When we sit down to eat

16. "Oh, you don't like oysters?" Nope, grandma, not this year or the previous 25, but thanks for pointing it out every year. It's a little ritual between us. It usually follows with a "Just try them already..."

17. "Well, we've known you to be more lively." Yep, it happens that someone can refuse a glass of wine, even if you don't seem to understand the concept.

18. "Wow, that descent, we wouldn't want to ride it back up." Yes, unfortunately, either we drink too much or not enough, but it will never be just right.

19. "Are you sure you want another serving?" No comment.

20. "You're as skinny as a nail, let me serve you more." Same, no comment.

21. "This year, I'm spoiling you, I made you my s...He's famous for his chestnut cake. Yes, like every year. And like every year, it's not very good. 22. "Come on, at least you could make an effort for Christmas and taste the salmon." I could, but since I'm a vegetarian, it's a bit more complicated than that, even if it's Christmas. 23. "Ah, we ate well, I have food stuck in my back teeth." Thanks for that lovely image. 24. "Do you want to grab a bite?" Just because you used the word "dijo", I can't say yes.


When we exchange gifts

25. « You're really spoiled, you know. Back in my day, we only had an orange. » Yes, the famous legend of the orange that we've all heard before...

26. « Oh great gift... did you keep the receipt just in case? » Well, the message is clear. No gift for you next year.

27. « You could have put more effort into Margot's gift. » Ah, you mean that distant cousin I only see for 2 hours every other year? Yes, I suppose I could have...

28. « Nice socks you got there. Look at me, I got the latest iPhone. » Christmas one-upmanship is simply not allowed.

29. « Don't mind the packaging, it's what's inside that matters. » Granted, but still, a dirty old t-shirt is pushing it.


Expressions that annoy us

30. "Merry Christmas"! It is impossible not to start with this absolute classic, which urgently needs to be banned.

31. "Let's toast! I'll be the train, you be the jerk!" Oh, the delicacy. It's really a quality that is lost these days.

32. "Cheers, but not with your feet." This joke has never been funny. Never.

33. "So, what's new? "Well, half of 18." Yeah, okay, but apparently I won't be getting any news from you.

34. "Well, another Christmas gone." It's nice to leave a family gathering feeling so jaded.

35. "Hey! See you next year!" We couldn't finish without mentioning this Christmas farewell essential.