We hear about toxic people all the time, but what exactly defines this type of person? According to Dana Castro, a psychologist, "We are toxic to someone when our behavior becomes intrusive. To say that a person or a relationship is toxic, there must be a chronic nature to it and it must have detrimental consequences on the well-being of others." But then, what are the concrete manifestations of toxicity and what should you do when you recognize it in a friend, a colleague, a family member, or even yourself? Here are 8 signs that should serve as red flags and make you react, whether you are experiencing it or, especially, inflicting it.
You are very jealous
In friendship or love, the key is trust, respect, and the precious act of letting someone live.From your possessiveness comes your toxicity: ask yourself where this lack of confidence in yourself comes from, which has a (negative, dah) impact on your partner or your surroundings.
Conflict is your reason for being
In any conversation, you create a conflict. It follows you like the plague, wherever you go: ask yourselves, my little toxic beings. Deep down, you know that the problem is probably yourself: stop ignoring or hurting your loved ones, perpetuating a dispute, put your ego aside and you will discover that life without trouble is actually much better.
You are a manipulator
You are a Gemini, right? Oh really? Well, if you lie and/or manipulate to get what you want, I'm sorry to inform you that you have a highly toxic behavior. Unfortunately, it is probable that you don't even pay much attention to it anymore, as it has become a reflex... Eh it's such a shame, because it's unbearable and you risk annoying everyone. Your loss. Your loss.
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You have the reflex to bring others down
A friend is happy about their promotion or relationship, and instead of rejoicing, you bring them down and make them feel worse? Spoiler alert: this won't make you look good, and will only establish an unhealthy dominant/submissive relationship with the person in front of you. Your self-esteem is quite fragile if it depends on the successes and failures of others.
Me, me, me… you make everything about yourself
Yes, we get it, you love talking about your life! So far, nothing wrong with that, but if your blabber takes up all the space in the conversation, it becomes boring and self-centered. Remember that a conversation is a two-way street where both parties should have the opportunity to share and be heard.
Your everyday conversations are so focused on yourself that it breaks any curiosity towards others, well, that's when you need to start asking yourself questions. You're definitely not the center of the world, and there are so many things you can learn from the people around you.
You never apologize, not even once. Seriously, there's not much to say about this, you're just going to end up all alone. Your friend or partner may come back a couple of times, but they will eventually get tired of your constant sulking and send you away. Besides being right, they will teach you that taking a step back, putting your ego aside, and admitting your mistakes is essential in a healthy relationship.
Oh, and you always put yourself in the position of the victim. Well, refer to the previous point: question yourself and take responsibility for your actions, darn it!
You choose when to be nice. This may be the most sneaky thing about toxic people: they only show kindness at certain times.They choose their moment to be strong. Sometimes perfectly kind and endearing, they can stab you in the back the next instant. A toxic person is not only bad: it's up to you to evaluate if it's still worth keeping them close to you or not.
via GIPHY
